How to Believe in Yourself When No One Else Does

Armya Inc

Well-known member
You are alone. You feel that no one believes in you, what you can do, what you are doing. It is hard to feel motivated when you feel that no one believes in you. While you may say you don't need anyone, we humans need some degree of contact and approval of others. It does not matter how fiercely independent you are, if it seems everyone is telling you what you are doing wrong, but no one is telling you what you are doing right, it will eventually drag you down. This will not only destroy your motivation, your production level will suffer as well.
I know well that feeling. I understand how isolated it feels to be surrounded by people, yet still be alone. I have never had anyone in my life who believed in me 100%. Everything I did brought criticism, questioning and ridicule. I was often told that I should not pursue this or that because I would fail. As a highly creative, cerebral individual, I found this hard to accept. When I was younger, I bought into it all. When I was ridiculed or criticized, I would abandon whatever it was I was pursuing and do something "safe." I grew up in an ultra-conventional family and my frequent "out of the box" ideas and endeavours would often evoke shaking of heads, incessant questions as to my abilities and constant criticism. As I grew older I began to see that "they" did not think like I did and "they" did not understand. It was as if I was an alien, never fitting in, never truly accepted.

As an adult, I have realized that no matter what I do I will always be questioned because the people around me do not understand me. I am fine with that now, though it does get me down at times. When I decided to home school my gifted, yet severely dyslexic daughter and gifted son, it brought a barrage or criticism, questioning about my ability to home school and even ridicule that I would even try it. But I have continued to home school my children with much success. And I have found that some of the greatest lessons they will ever learn would never be taught in a classroom. One such lesson is how to believe in yourself when no one else does.

1. Know yourself.
Take inventory of your abilities FROM YOUR POINT OF VIEW. Do not consider what others think of you. Think about your skills, abilities, education and spirit. It is your spirit that will carry you to fight against those who do not believe in you. Know yourself.

2. Like yourself.
Your self love has to come from within. No one can give you worth or value; only you can do that. Know that you are valuable and have special skills and talents. Appreciate what you can do and don't worry so much about what you can not do. Focus on the positive.

3. Believe in yourself. This is a tough one, especially if you have been hearing a lot of negativity about yourself. Once you have taken inventory of what you can do, believe in that and believe that you can learn more and reach higher. Believe that you have no limits. Believe that you can do whatever you want to do.

4. Put on blinders. As you begin to take charge and move beyond those who try to bring you down, put on blinders. By "putting on blinders," you close your eyes and ears to the criticism and negativity. If you truly believe that you can do something and that you can be successful, don't let anyone stop you.

5. Educate yourself
. Get the facts and research so that you know exactly what you are getting into when you begin your journey. If you want to pursue a particular profession, learn everything that you can about it. If you want to do something, do the research on it; know the pros and cons so that you can ward off any criticism and negativity.

The following five tips are more general in nature, but they should not be ignored. When you are pursuing any activity, be it a college education or a particular career, these are general tips that will increase your success. It is important to incorporate these tips with the ones previously mentioned. If you believe in yourself, but are lazy or tend to procrastinate, you will not reach your goal. In turn, your confidence will wane and you will stop believing in yourself.

6. Don't procrastinate. Procrastination can kill even the best plans and destroy the very best of intentions. Think of procrastination as a success minefield and avoid it at all costs. Make a list each day of things that you want to accomplish and a list of things that you want to accomplish for the week, month and even the year. Check off tasks as you complete them and add things that you need to do. This will help you stay focused on your goal and help you be more productive.

7. Stay motivated. This can be tough if the people around you are always telling you what you can not do instead of what you can do. However, you can motivate yourself. Get a little arrogant, it's OK. KNOW that you can achieve what you set out to do and believe in yourself. Let you own belief in yourself and your abilities serve as a catalyst for your own motivation. If you believe in yourself and what you can do, have done the research to educate yourself, like yourself and put on blinders against the negativity, you are well on your way to success. Don't allow the negativity and ridicule of others to destroy your motivation. Stay focused and keep believing.

8. Be positive. There will always be someone who wants to bring you down, that is just a part of life. True, it hurts when it is someone whose opinion you value, such as a spouse, family member or friend, but you have to move beyond that and stay positive. Keeping a positive outlook will also improve your motivation. Keep thinking positive and keep looking on the positive side. Think "I can." Know, "Can't never could."

9. Be polite. This is an important one. Even though certain people do not believe in you or your abilities, you still have to be polite. Do not make caustic remarks, be obnoxiously arrogant (confidence and belief in yourself is OK), avoid being rude to the people with whom you are dealing and always take the high road. Remember, they are likely operating out of ignorance and misinformation. They do not know what you can do, the do not know you (obviously, because they don't believe in you) and they are talking from that angle. You can try to politely inform them, offer them resources to learn more, but always take the high road, smile and if you feel like launching an attack or speaking in anger and frustration, it is far better to simply smile and walk away.

10. Pat yourself on the back
. Give yourself credits for your successes, no matter how small. It is up to you to get confidence in yourself and believe in yourself. Now is not the time to be modest. Acknowledge when you do a good job. Pat yourself on the back. Tell yourself, "Great job!"

Even with these tips, you may still not reach your goal, at least not to the level that you originally anticipated. Do not let this get you down. Where someone else may see 1000 failures, you see 1000 opportunities to learn something new about what you are doing - and about yourself. Just always remember to look inward for your motivation. Do not let someone else determine how you feel about yourself or how you live your life, the things that you pursue. Most of all, believe. Believe in yourself, believe in your abilities, believe.

By:Stephanie A. Mayberry
Last edited:


New member

This is a very useful article for whom people who doesn't believe our self, because It is hard to feel motivated when you feel that no one believes in you.
And our success is depending upon what you think of your self,and whether you believe your self.
But the real secret of gorgeousness is to believe yourself and have self confidence.

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