Best Quotes from clients!
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sweatyclimber
Well-known member
I'll add more over time but one of the funniest for me was a client who was frustrated at the color matching and lack of imposition tools on her imbeded print contoller (not digital front end). She couldn't understand why since she used such a high end graphic's system my device wasn't working properly. High end graphic system: Microsoft Punisher (ahem publisher)
doubting_thomas
Well-known member
From one of our clients:
"How many posters can we get for the price of 10?"
"How many posters can we get for the price of 10?"
sweatyclimber
Well-known member
Classic!
I've had a roundabout version of that....
"Why isn't the quality on my phaser printer ($799) as good as the DC252" ... Well there in a different class... "Well if Xerox has the technology to reproduce at that quality I should be able to have it on this device it's absurd that I should have to spend that kind of money just to have high quality!"
sweatyclimber
Well-known member
I hope you answered them 8-ish
The all-time-winner: "My print job smells like ink."
"I have two A4 pages full of text in Word. I sent them to you to print them on a single page A5, but the text size must not change. I know I could not do that, but you are the expert, right? So do it!"
A nice quote from one of our pressman: "Why does color consistency matter? Every client will only get one piece and can't compare it to another one!"
"What do you mean when you say 'the text won't be readable if we print a narrow font in dark gray on black'?"
"No, you are not allowed to change the color in my ad! I want it printed the way I gave it to you!" - after being told that 14 spot colors in a 4-color magazine is not doable and that we have to convert the spots to 4c. But I guess if your title reads "professional print designer", you don't have to know about such things.
To client: "if you wanted the poster to print landscape, why did you design it portrait?"
client: "Uh that's what PDF is for. Just change the sides, but don't mess with the layout or orientation."
To client: "You asked for our job-settings for the PDF-Export from InDesign CS3, here they are."
Some time later we get a total wreckage of a PDF.
To client: "Why didn't you use the settings I gave you last week?"
client: "I did. I just changed some values that seemed out of place."
To client: "We are sorry, but your brochure has only 46 pages and we can't saddle stitch that amount of pages. You will either have to add or remove 2 pages, so that the number of pages is a multiply of 4."
client: "That can't be. My job is 48 pages! See on the last page it clearly says "Page: 48"."
"I have two A4 pages full of text in Word. I sent them to you to print them on a single page A5, but the text size must not change. I know I could not do that, but you are the expert, right? So do it!"
A nice quote from one of our pressman: "Why does color consistency matter? Every client will only get one piece and can't compare it to another one!"
"What do you mean when you say 'the text won't be readable if we print a narrow font in dark gray on black'?"
"No, you are not allowed to change the color in my ad! I want it printed the way I gave it to you!" - after being told that 14 spot colors in a 4-color magazine is not doable and that we have to convert the spots to 4c. But I guess if your title reads "professional print designer", you don't have to know about such things.
To client: "if you wanted the poster to print landscape, why did you design it portrait?"
client: "Uh that's what PDF is for. Just change the sides, but don't mess with the layout or orientation."
To client: "You asked for our job-settings for the PDF-Export from InDesign CS3, here they are."
Some time later we get a total wreckage of a PDF.
To client: "Why didn't you use the settings I gave you last week?"
client: "I did. I just changed some values that seemed out of place."
To client: "We are sorry, but your brochure has only 46 pages and we can't saddle stitch that amount of pages. You will either have to add or remove 2 pages, so that the number of pages is a multiply of 4."
client: "That can't be. My job is 48 pages! See on the last page it clearly says "Page: 48"."
gordo
Well-known member
From a sales manager to their sales rep:
"Just low-ball the quote and make it up on the alterations. And there’s always alterations."
To the customer from the sales rep who discovers that they missed some detail in the quote for the print job they are running: "Hmmm, no, that’s not how it was quoted to run. Sorry, but we’re gonna have to
charge extra for that. But I'll do the best I can with the extra charges though."
gordon p
my print blog here: Quality In Print
"Just low-ball the quote and make it up on the alterations. And there’s always alterations."
To the customer from the sales rep who discovers that they missed some detail in the quote for the print job they are running: "Hmmm, no, that’s not how it was quoted to run. Sorry, but we’re gonna have to
charge extra for that. But I'll do the best I can with the extra charges though."
gordon p
my print blog here: Quality In Print
oxburger
Well-known member
Not a client, but a sales rep. He was having an issue with his computer and didn't have enough memory to run a certain program on his desktop. I told him he would need more memory and he asked me if that was something he could "download from the internet"....HA
The same sales rep on a job he had going through prepress. There was a scan of a set of bookshelves with a bunch of books on them. He wanted me to move one book to the right so that he could see the cover of the book beside it. I told him that we hadn't got our 3D scanner in yet and he'd have to wait......You could see the smoke pouring from his ears....
The same sales rep on a job he had going through prepress. There was a scan of a set of bookshelves with a bunch of books on them. He wanted me to move one book to the right so that he could see the cover of the book beside it. I told him that we hadn't got our 3D scanner in yet and he'd have to wait......You could see the smoke pouring from his ears....
Last edited:
Alan Thompson
Member
Customer says......
Customer says......
Customer says......... "Can you tell your press to make the color look like it looks on my iPhone" "can you just photoshop it to make it right"
Customer says......
Customer says......... "Can you tell your press to make the color look like it looks on my iPhone" "can you just photoshop it to make it right"
Jecclr2003
Member
Prepress side we get some classics....
After receiving an InDesign file with no links, so the file will print like crap....
"Why do you need the pictures? It looks fine on my screen here."
Of course it does, YOU HAVE THE PICTURES!!!!!!
Ugh... the hated "It looks fine on my screen" *shudders* And then having to explain that their monitor is RGB...we print in CMYK and getting nothing but bewilderment in return.
After receiving an InDesign file with no links, so the file will print like crap....
"Why do you need the pictures? It looks fine on my screen here."
Of course it does, YOU HAVE THE PICTURES!!!!!!
Ugh... the hated "It looks fine on my screen" *shudders* And then having to explain that their monitor is RGB...we print in CMYK and getting nothing but bewilderment in return.
My new favourite came in via a phone call to our help desk the other day. This potential customer had been reading our web site and was enquiring about short run book printing. The conversation started "I know that your books are all perfect, and that's very reassuring, but can you explain how they are bound?" It turns out that he thought that "Perfect bound books" was our estimation of how well we carried out book binding!
That one tickled me, if only all customer misunderstandings were that easy to resolve. I'm still scratching my head about the person last year who complained bitterly that when she viewed her printing under a powerful magnifying glass, she could see a pattern of dots. Evidently there were no dots in the artwork supplied to us!
That one tickled me, if only all customer misunderstandings were that easy to resolve. I'm still scratching my head about the person last year who complained bitterly that when she viewed her printing under a powerful magnifying glass, she could see a pattern of dots. Evidently there were no dots in the artwork supplied to us!
Jecclr2003
Member
Oh how I love explaining how the 4 color process works. It never seems to end either.....
fondomatic
New member
Not a customer, but a job applicant.
As a magazine publisher before ctp, we stripped a lot of film. We placed an ad for a stripper, and one you lady said she wanted to come in for an "audition". We said, "No; you don't understand. This job is stripping film, to produce magazines." Her reply? "I've been in films, and I've been in magazines."
*gulp*
As a magazine publisher before ctp, we stripped a lot of film. We placed an ad for a stripper, and one you lady said she wanted to come in for an "audition". We said, "No; you don't understand. This job is stripping film, to produce magazines." Her reply? "I've been in films, and I've been in magazines."
*gulp*
sweatyclimber
Well-known member
Gotta love those calls.... I tend to only get them from Graphic Designers... When questioned they assure me they have a degree from an art school...
Jecclr2003
Member
In my case... I come from a design background so I can dumb it down enough to talk to them.
But what amazes me is all these "artists" with their overpriced degrees have no concept of the most basic of design or publishing principles.
There''s one I used to work with at a previous job and our roads led her to being the art director of an advertising agency (real small one) and me at a commercial printer where her company is a client. Needless to say even with her expensive art school degree, she's still clueless to color breakdowns.
To top it off..she has an attitude when you point out one of her files is borked up
One of my floor supervisors to me in a production meeting:
Supervisor: "We couldn't find the proof, but we got the job out on time"
Me: "Uh, what did you match the output to?"
Supervisor: "Those commercials are on TV all the time, I remembered what the color looked like from the picture on my TV."
Me: "Get out." (Jokingly, of course)
Me, trying to get a simple 2-sided flyer printed at our local print shop... 4C on one side and 1C on the back so you could see it through a window:
Them: "We couldn't print both sides of your job so we printed the fronts and the backs seperate"
Me: "Um... What?"
Them: "Can't you just tape them back to back and hang them that way"
Me (thinking there's NO way I'm going to be satisfied): "Sure... how much do I owe you?"
Them: "Well it will be twice the quote 'cause we used twice as much paper"
A very good but very picky customer:
Client: "We're not happy with the spot color on this job"
Me: "There is no spot color on the job; it's a 4-color process job. You refused to pay for the spot color so we made the closest approximation our process is capable of."
Client: "Yeah, but it should match"
Me: "No, it won't. That's why spot colors exist."
Client: "Okay fine, we'll pay for the spot color... can we send the job back and you can put it on?"
-Brian
Supervisor: "We couldn't find the proof, but we got the job out on time"
Me: "Uh, what did you match the output to?"
Supervisor: "Those commercials are on TV all the time, I remembered what the color looked like from the picture on my TV."
Me: "Get out." (Jokingly, of course)
Me, trying to get a simple 2-sided flyer printed at our local print shop... 4C on one side and 1C on the back so you could see it through a window:
Them: "We couldn't print both sides of your job so we printed the fronts and the backs seperate"
Me: "Um... What?"
Them: "Can't you just tape them back to back and hang them that way"
Me (thinking there's NO way I'm going to be satisfied): "Sure... how much do I owe you?"
Them: "Well it will be twice the quote 'cause we used twice as much paper"
A very good but very picky customer:
Client: "We're not happy with the spot color on this job"
Me: "There is no spot color on the job; it's a 4-color process job. You refused to pay for the spot color so we made the closest approximation our process is capable of."
Client: "Yeah, but it should match"
Me: "No, it won't. That's why spot colors exist."
Client: "Okay fine, we'll pay for the spot color... can we send the job back and you can put it on?"
-Brian
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