Best Quotes from clients!

[Munsell]

In response to a peice made primarily of solid colors they insisted on printing process instead of spots:
"So you are telling me that our 3 pt reverse type will be illegible?

 

[Chuck Kellum]

I've probably heard this one 20 times from 10 different customers:

"Please remove the dark outlines (trap lines) on all the elements on this label. They were not there on the supplied art!"

 

[alan4color]

a quote from production to sale:
"the problem is we cant produce the job as cheap as you can sell it"

and an old one still relavent today:
Business is so bad now even my clients who don't pay their bill are not ordering!

 

[Munsell]

I've probably heard this one 20 times from 10 different customers:

"Please remove the dark outlines (trap lines) on all the elements on this label. They were not there on the supplied art!"

We've gotten that a lot! The latest one, the customer said that the trap lines "change the overall look of the label" and that "the art was already approved". Well then, stop approving non-print ready art!

 

[steppy]

recent quark request

recent quark request

I was asked to tell a "designer" how to add auto page numbering in a QuarkXpress file. When I asked the "designer" to make a text container/box on the master page the reply was: "What's a text box?" and then of course, "master page?"

stephen grayman
Braintree Printing : Welcome

 

[sweatyclimber]

So I'm not sure if the humor of this will transfer or not...

Client buying a copier:
"The other company lists a trade in on there proposal. We feel that yours should"
Rep:
"There is no actual value to your 10+yr old machine to me or to them. Both of us do not charge you to remove it because the scrap fee's pay for the removal cost... Also my quote is still a better fit and price after there trade in"
Customer:
Can you just show me a trade in anyway?
Rep:
So you'd like me to Mark up the machine and then give you a "trade-in"?
Customer:
Yes
Rep:
Sure then, how much should I pay you for this machine?

 

[sweatyclimber]

Just ran into another for you...

A print for pay & newspaper company running a C500 that is serviced by a mom & pop dealer. They were hitting a panton blue but the color shifted to purple. After several day's of trouble shooting, the dealers color specialist said quote: "that is how the Japanise see blue, the machine is functioning fine"

 

[Morning Flight]

Printers say funny things too ... gordo

"I'm sorry, Mister, I can't give you a quote. I only work here."

 

[longlimb]

I've got everyone beat.

I client signed and approved a quote for a 2 color job. When I got the files I found out all the images were in RGB. I called the client and told him I needed the files split out for 2/c and his reply was, "can't you just use the R and the G?"