Frog :-)

[MailGuru]

One day, the frog decided he'd had enough of this country-life and that he was going to pack eveything up and move to the city. He took all of his belongings, wrapped them up in a scarf, tied the scarf to the end of a stick, and, hopped into town with the stick over his shoulder.

Once in town, he figured he needed to go to the bank, get a loan, and start a business. So, he hopped in to the bank, and located a loan officer. The name plate on her desk read "Patty Black -Loan Officer".

So the frog hopped up on her desk, and the following conversation ensued:

Frog: "I need a loan to start a business."
Patty: "Fine, no problem, what do you have for collateral?"

Frog - pulling a small object out of his sack: "I have this."
Patty: "What is it, I've never seen anything like this before. I don't know what it's worth. I'll need
to speak with my supervisor"

Patty, then goes in to the office of the bank president and says: "Sir, I have a Frog on my desk
that is requesting a loan and wants to use this as collateral, but, I don't know what it is, or, what's its worth", and then hands the object to the president.

The president takes the object, leans back in his chair and says "Goodness, I haven't seen one of these in years! My grandmother used to have a couple of these!"

Patty: "Well, what IS it?"

Bank President: "Why, it's a knick-knack, Patty Black, Give the Frog a Loan!"

 

[youston]

Bear

Bear

Bear walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve beer to bears in bars."

Irritated, the bear growls at the bartender, "You serve me a beer or I'll eat that lady over there," waving his paw in the direction of a woman sitting at the end of the bar.

Bartender replies, "I'm sorry, but we certainly don't serve beer to belligerent bully bears in bars."

The bear walks to the other end of the bar, devours the woman, and returns to his bar stool. "Now serve me a beer!" he demands.

"Sorry," says the bartender, "We don't serve beer to belligerent bully bears in bars who are on drugs."

The bear is taken aback. "On drugs?" he asks. "I'm not on drugs!"

Bartender replies, "You are now. That was a bar bitch you ate."

 

[Visualaid]

"The Cute Printer Driver

A blonde called IT support and said, “my printer isn't working.”
After checking through a remote connection for a while, the IT guy said, “You may need a new printer driver.”
“Oh, no,” replied the blonde. “Don't tell me that. Our printer driver is so cute.”
“Cute? What do you mean cute?”
“Our printer driver has dark hair, green eyes, works out, has this cute dimple...”
The tech couldn't figure out what she was talking about. “What do you mean your printer driver has a cute dimple?”
“You know, our printer driver. The delivery guy from Staples who brings our printers.”

source:Printer Fun Time - Printer Jokes | TonerGreen - Eco-Friendly Toners from the U.S.