Questions!

[Tpyo]

On the phone discussing my bleed requirements with an unknown 'Designer with 25 years of experience': (shouting at me) "I've never had a printer that needed more than 1/16" bleed!"

 

[PrePressKD]

As long as we're still going......

Our shop uses AVO's (Avoid Verbal Orders) for special instructions on any given job. Here are some of my favorite AVO's I've collected over the years - and these are exact quotes, mind you......

#1) Exactly like sample enclosed - except for the paper and design.
#2) Recreate Tabs - exact reprint not done here.
#3) The word "Student" on page 12 looks light & dark.

 

[blazini]

I have the a answer to all these problems............."It pops!"

them: "it's not quite blue enough"......You: "but now it pops!"

them: "oh, I just noticed the word "yes" is spelled wrong" ......You: "I noticed that, but with that typo in there it pops!"

not to be outdone by "it's alot sharper now" or "see how clean that looks".

phrases like that and they buy whatever you're trying to sell them

 

[George T]

Me: Ok so you need 20 foamcore prints by tomorrow evening that shouldn't be a problem where are you located?
Customer: Augusta, Maine
Me: You do realize you called Las Vegas Printing we can rush it there, but shipping won't be free anymore.
Customer: What do you mean shipping won't be free?!

so many times with so many places. What is so complicated about the idea that regular 3-day shipping is free, but if you ask me to ship across the country by tomorrow that's going to cost a little extra...

 

[MailGuru]

Production Out-By Date on the work order: "ASAP"
WHERE do I schedule that on my production schedule when all other work orders have actual drop dates?

 

[mglouis]

What happens to those kids in the grocery store who go ballistic when mommy won't buy them candy? They grow up and become print buyers.

Matt Louis

 

[arossetti]

Production Out-By Date on the work order: "ASAP"
WHERE do I schedule that on my production schedule when all other work orders have actual drop dates?

When a CSR asks me for a turnaround I always ask when the customer needs it. If I get ASAP as an answer I reply with "They can have it ASAP then".

 

[youston]

Customer: "When you say the margin is .5 inches, is that a half-inch, or is it 5/10ths?"
Me: (resists urge to say it's 128/256ths, then :headdesk: )

Sadly, a true story.

 

[GuruMorgor]

Was asked by a client to send all logo's affiliated with their company over @300dpi. No problem, rounded up 18 in total, mostly all Illustrator EPS files, made them into 300dpi RGB JPG's all nice and uniform in size. Zipped them up and sent them off. Got an email back this morning asking if i could put them into a Microsoft Word file so she could label them. Didn't really think much at the time that it would be much of an issue. Does anybody use Word regularly? I have Word 2002 (and haven't used it since then) and I tried. I even looked for the manual (lol) and in the end I had to go see Debbie the Receptionist and ask her to do it. I watched and laughed at what she had to do to make Word (she had 2010) simply place the image and move it around. Wow! the program truly defies logic at almost every instance. Anybody play with Windows 8 yet? What happened to Microsoft? When will Adobe make an OS! MY BROW IS FURROWING!

 

[MailGuru]

Yes, but, when you put it in MS Word -- "It Pops!"

Thanks blazini - it realy does work pretty good - doesn't it?

 

[Mark]

Designer: Ok so you need us to add bleed?
Me: Yes please
Designer: On every page?
Me: ... (banging head on desk)

 

[Russ_G]

Me: Your job has 18 pgs, how would you like it bound?
Customer: Saddle Stitch, please send pdf proof.
Me: proof sent
Customer: Proof received everything looks good expect please remove blank pages at the end.
Me: uugghh!!!

 

[MailGuru]

Me - Ordering at the speaker of the drive-thru of a well-known fast food restaurant:" 2 cheeseburgers, 1 small fries, and a medium chocolate shake, please"

Them: "Yes, sir. Is that to-go?"

?????????????????????????????

 

[maas]

True account - In our cold set plant we have a Goss, for those not familiar with this its a newspaper press 98 metres long and 10 metres tall.

One of our acount managers asked for a "press proof" for their client who was placing a full page advert in our daily, i politely suggested a faximile of our Epson would render a close aproximation (all be it digital contone as oposed to analogue halftone) she insisted it had to be a press proof as this is the commitment she had made to the client, when i replied i would not run the press up to render 1 copy of an advert a complaint was send to our CEO

 

[jetzerm]

Here's a classic.

Customer: I got a 6 color job, 4 color process, PMS376 and PMS 349 but right here I want the logo is 100% 349 and this part is 50% lighter but NO screens I don't like they way screens look on my printing.