Top 5 reasons I couldn't work in Pre-press

Before you read these I'm just joking! please don't send me hate mail.

The top 5 reasons I couldn’t work in Prepress.
5 I think Adobe is a mud house, Kodak is a big brown Bear in Alaska, Quark is a disgusting habit, Agfa is one of the layers of the earths crust and EskoArt is one of those guys in Alaska that hunt Kodak Bears.
4 I have a low Self-image
3 I think that sometimes a bad plate may not be the Pressman’s fault.
2 It is impossible for me to set in a cushy chair for 8 hours.
1 I don’t have a MySpace page to check every 10 minutes.
The top 5 reasons I couldn’t be a Pressman
5 I don’t think the Printing Business revolves around my butt.
4 I cant find a way to blame paper dust and bad stock for all of my problems
3 I don’t think Offset pressman means I’m “off setting” by the coffee pot while my helper is cleaning the ink fountains.
2 I don’t have to have a nicer car than the operator on third shift
1 The right to vote wasn’t the last time I registered anything.
The top 5 reasons I belong in the Bindery.
5 It’s easy to find something to read on my way to a bathroom break.
4 The noise of the machinery covers any rude noises I make.
3 By the time management gets back to my end of the shop they forget about anything I’ve screwed up.
2 Most customers don’t even know what a bindery is let alone want to see one in action.
1 I have at least 3 other departments to point my finger at when things go wrong.
 
DUDE! what about sales...
#5: Don't golf
#4: I can't make my hair do that
#3: Shorter than 6'0"
#2: Can actually figure out how to use my computer
#1: I can still do my job, even if "the market sucks"
 
Good point JLazerus
I’ve seen so little of “Sales” lately I forgot about them

Can I add to the Sales?
1 I have a concept of time and obtainable due dates.
2 I understand that the reason “My Job” isn’t on the press is because I actually have to submit the spec’s before it can be printed.
3 And harassing the production people can actually prolong the run times.

(I love that Hair comment)
 
Ed and jlazerus...my gosh, you guys must have worked with the same salespeople I used to.

This was a good laugh for a Monday after 4 day weekend!
 

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