Whatever Can Happen............

[MailGuru]

Ok, Friday afternoon, and, you all know how I get on that last hour of the week............

Reaching wayyyyyyyyy back in my memory from my contract programming days, I remember getting a chuckle or two from a small novelty book that I saw at a bookstore referencing "Murphy's Laws". You know, it all starts with "Whatever can happen, will happen, and, at the worst possible moment." In computer programming terms, it meant that you should spend an excessively amount of time in your design to try an anticpate everything that could go wrong with your program, but, I remember several being relative to other indutries, and life in general.

Here are a couple that I still remember:

1) The odds of the bread falling buttered side down, is directly related to the cost of the carpet.
2) If everything seems to be going well, you've obviously overlooked something.
3) Design a system that even a fool can use, and, only a fool will want to use it.

So, I wondered what "Murphy's Laws" would look like, in relation to the Prepress, Printing, Binding, Finsihing industry.

Here's one:

1) The color quality of a direct mail piece is inversely proportional to its importance.

When you respond and make one up, let's put it in the thread as attributable to the forum responder.

Ex: MailGuru's Law Of Inverse Importance: The color quality of a direct mail piece is inversely proportional to its importance.

Have Fun With It!

-Best

MailGuru

 

[Possumgal]

The smaller the job, the more proofs required by the customer. I've had up to 12 proofs on a business card!

 

[kansasquaker]

The importance to the customer of reprinting a job due to errors is dependent almost entirely on whether or not the error turns out to be their fault.

I count count how often this has happened to us. The customer notices a problem with a job we delivered. They get all indignant and demand a reprint or discount. Then we point out that the files were supplied and approved that way and all of a sudden it isn't a big deal.

 

[Bill W]

All customers make me happy - some by staying; some by leaving

 

[MailGuru]

Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage, mayonaise, vinegar, salt & pepper.

 

[Jim Restle]

Exact reprints (with saved files, plate curves and CIP info) increases the odds that pressman will say job cannot be done or matched.

 

[Keith]

If you run a job as soon as you receive, customer will call asking if you have run it- they need to make changes. If you wait awhile before running it, customer will call wondering why it isn't done yet.

 

[Jim Restle]

The customer whose files require the most time to make work will be the first to upgrade to the newest software version.

 

[narseman]

The customer is usually wrong, (but do it their way anyway)

 

[DCurry]

The freebie jobs are often the most expensive in terms of time to fix.

 

[old guy]

The stupidity of your actions is directly proportional to the amount of people looking at you

 

[Possumgal]

People who call on Thursday at closing time with a rush job that they HAVE to have before the weekend will not pick up the finished job before next Tuesday.

 

[Tim-Ellis]

The volume of friction created is equal to the number of corners cut.

 

[aqazi81]

If you run a job as soon as you receive, customer will call asking if you have run it- they need to make changes. If you wait awhile before running it, customer will call wondering why it isn't done yet.

A production manager of a plant where I worked, used to tell customers on phone that their job is being printed, In reality the plates did not left prepress at that time.

 

[Glenn McDowall]

3) Design a system that even a fool can use, and, only a fool will want to use it.

"A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." Douglas Adams

 

[bada-bing]

Yes, I know I approved the proof, but that doesn't mean I actually looked at it.

 

[old guy]

Yes, I know I approved the proof, but that doesn't mean I actually looked at it.

I thought that was just for color

 

[MailGuru]

MailGuru's Law of Gravitational Displacement: When fixing any piece of equipment, the screw or bolt that you just removed will slip and fall, into the smallest crevice, at the very bottom of the machine.