Sorry? I don't know how to make it NOT suspicious. I work in prepress at a print shop here in good ol tundra of the north, Minnesota. All I need is for someone to identify this old file (I think its Quark) and make it into a PDF. Customer is clueless and computer illiterate so she's no help. Funny gif btw.
Sorry @Av8K8, I'm with @jwheeler on this one. Too much can go wrong, unfortunately.
I'm pretty sure Quark offers a free trial. While you can't save or export as PDF, you could at least see if it opens. Then decide from there how you want to deal with it.
There wasn't one unfortunately. The people we bought the business from mainly used quark and got indesign a few years ago and stupidly deleted quark off their computers, this file is way old. Its the only file in the customers folder and she ran out of the originals, meaning she doesn't even have a hard copy for us to copy from (she is still looking).