My print job smells like ink
- Thread starter Cory Smith
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HiTech_Monkeyboy
Well-known member
Re: My print job smells like ink
One of our CSRs called back and asked that I talk to a customer who had submitted a job without fonts or links. After being informed that we didn't know what we were doing that the job looked fine on her computer, I delicately explained that it looked fine because that's were the fonts and links were. There was a long pause while this processed and then the question..."Why can't you just link things over the internet?"
My wife now understands why I drink.
Monkey
One of our CSRs called back and asked that I talk to a customer who had submitted a job without fonts or links. After being informed that we didn't know what we were doing that the job looked fine on her computer, I delicately explained that it looked fine because that's were the fonts and links were. There was a long pause while this processed and then the question..."Why can't you just link things over the internet?"
My wife now understands why I drink.
Monkey
DigitalCrapShoveler
New member
Re: My print job smells like ink
Sometimes I have to fill in for IT. Anyway, this stump designer for a subsidiary company we own calls me into his office. He is shaking his mouse and then pushing it along his desk like it's a Hot Wheel. He says, "Is there any way to adjust the tension control on this mouse, it is really hard to push and it is hurting my wrist." After I stared at him for a seeming eternity, I said, "I don't think the problem is the tension on your mouse, but something maybe a gynocologist might be better suited at looking into." He then replied, "no seriously, is there?"
Sometimes I have to fill in for IT. Anyway, this stump designer for a subsidiary company we own calls me into his office. He is shaking his mouse and then pushing it along his desk like it's a Hot Wheel. He says, "Is there any way to adjust the tension control on this mouse, it is really hard to push and it is hurting my wrist." After I stared at him for a seeming eternity, I said, "I don't think the problem is the tension on your mouse, but something maybe a gynocologist might be better suited at looking into." He then replied, "no seriously, is there?"
Re: My print job smells like ink
This was a while ago: Sales Rep comes in and notifies me that she is in the process of writing up the Docket but wanted to let me know what was going to be involved in the job:
"Here's the clients business card (3.5x 2 full process, 3/4 view of a man kneeling to the right, holding a set of antlers, in a field with white text over top). It's an older picture of the client and he wants you to replace him in the field with a newer photo (lays out 4 8.5x11 images)."
I look at the images..they're all face front, head-on shots.
I say," Sure. Clipping, feathering, rubberstamping, yadda-yadda, no problem"
She says (drumroll) " He wants you to *just* replace his face tho. Can you just flip one of these pictures so his face is pointing in the right direction? I told him we could do it no problem"
... at this point my head is now resting comfortably on my desk and I'm in my happy place.
This was a while ago: Sales Rep comes in and notifies me that she is in the process of writing up the Docket but wanted to let me know what was going to be involved in the job:
"Here's the clients business card (3.5x 2 full process, 3/4 view of a man kneeling to the right, holding a set of antlers, in a field with white text over top). It's an older picture of the client and he wants you to replace him in the field with a newer photo (lays out 4 8.5x11 images)."
I look at the images..they're all face front, head-on shots.
I say," Sure. Clipping, feathering, rubberstamping, yadda-yadda, no problem"
She says (drumroll) " He wants you to *just* replace his face tho. Can you just flip one of these pictures so his face is pointing in the right direction? I told him we could do it no problem"
... at this point my head is now resting comfortably on my desk and I'm in my happy place.
Treedodger
Member
Re: My print job smells like ink
Back in my days as a process camera operator.
Customer supplied line art of a wrapped package with 2 or 3 overlays with black watercolor on them to create the colors. The overlays had to be shot as halftones to maintain the shading. Color key proof provided.
Upon seeing the proof the customer responded that they did not want *dots* in the colors.
I must add that this designer has gone on to design beautiful pieces, it is interesting though how a person gets into this field without any more knowledge of the printing industry.
Back in my days as a process camera operator.
Customer supplied line art of a wrapped package with 2 or 3 overlays with black watercolor on them to create the colors. The overlays had to be shot as halftones to maintain the shading. Color key proof provided.
Upon seeing the proof the customer responded that they did not want *dots* in the colors.
I must add that this designer has gone on to design beautiful pieces, it is interesting though how a person gets into this field without any more knowledge of the printing industry.
Re: My print job smells like ink
This is a great topic! I only have about a million of these (I bet we all do).
Here's one that had me scratching my head:-
Complaint/Reject opened for a new customer, not happy with the quality of her printing. We checked the pass sheet: colours good, all in perfect register. Spoke to the customer, asked her to explain the problem. Apparently when she looked at the sheet under a magnifying glass, she could see a pattern of dots and that wasn't acceptable. The customer was then asked whether the item was OK when viewed with the naked eye, i.e. without the magnifying glass. Yes, it looked absolutely perfect then; she could only see the "problem" when she used the magnifying glass.
No matter how hard we try, some problems can't be solved by mere printers like us!
This is a great topic! I only have about a million of these (I bet we all do).
Here's one that had me scratching my head:-
Complaint/Reject opened for a new customer, not happy with the quality of her printing. We checked the pass sheet: colours good, all in perfect register. Spoke to the customer, asked her to explain the problem. Apparently when she looked at the sheet under a magnifying glass, she could see a pattern of dots and that wasn't acceptable. The customer was then asked whether the item was OK when viewed with the naked eye, i.e. without the magnifying glass. Yes, it looked absolutely perfect then; she could only see the "problem" when she used the magnifying glass.
No matter how hard we try, some problems can't be solved by mere printers like us!
jschrieber
Active member
Re: My print job smells like ink
Not a "customer" story, so probably a bit off-topic .... but a story I love to tell about a couple co-workers many, many years ago ....
Transitioning from hot-metal to cold-type we used a typewriter-like device called an "Electroset" which was an electronic keyboard that generated 6-level papertape as a Linotype/Intertype replacement.
One old Linotype operator, Gloria, who converted to the Electroset was a sweet ol' gal, but could be a bit cantankerous at times when things didn't go her way .... she used the same Electroset night after night until one night her machine died and Electronic Technician Jerry replaced it with a spare machine.
She complained to him every night, all night, after that about the "feel" of the new machine wasn't as good as the old one.
After a couple weeks of this, Jerry finally had had his fill of her complaining so after she'd left work one night he took her replacement machine, drilled a hole in the side of the metal cabinet, glued a short bolt to an old radio knob and fastened it with a washer and bolt. Connected, of course, to absolutely nothing!
The next night he showed her the new "Touch Sensitivity Control" he'd installed on her machine.
Every night after that she'd start typing ... would fiddle with the knob from time to time .... then be pleased as punch the rest of the night !
She never complained again !
jack
Not a "customer" story, so probably a bit off-topic .... but a story I love to tell about a couple co-workers many, many years ago ....
Transitioning from hot-metal to cold-type we used a typewriter-like device called an "Electroset" which was an electronic keyboard that generated 6-level papertape as a Linotype/Intertype replacement.
One old Linotype operator, Gloria, who converted to the Electroset was a sweet ol' gal, but could be a bit cantankerous at times when things didn't go her way .... she used the same Electroset night after night until one night her machine died and Electronic Technician Jerry replaced it with a spare machine.
She complained to him every night, all night, after that about the "feel" of the new machine wasn't as good as the old one.
After a couple weeks of this, Jerry finally had had his fill of her complaining so after she'd left work one night he took her replacement machine, drilled a hole in the side of the metal cabinet, glued a short bolt to an old radio knob and fastened it with a washer and bolt. Connected, of course, to absolutely nothing!
The next night he showed her the new "Touch Sensitivity Control" he'd installed on her machine.
Every night after that she'd start typing ... would fiddle with the knob from time to time .... then be pleased as punch the rest of the night !
She never complained again !
jack
I had someone ring the other day and ask if I could come over and help her connect her 2nd hand printer to her computer. When I told her that wasn't what we did, she insisted that we should as we were printers.
"Maybe I could suggest someone who could help?"
PC World.
"Oh do they do that sort of thing?"
You'd have a better chance with them.
It was kind of cute and I really had to keep myself from laughing. I am still wondering if it was a piss take.
"Maybe I could suggest someone who could help?"
PC World.
"Oh do they do that sort of thing?"
You'd have a better chance with them.
It was kind of cute and I really had to keep myself from laughing. I am still wondering if it was a piss take.
Drawkward
Active member
Re: My print job smells like ink
Okay, I have one.
We had a customer(high school senior) come in with graduation invitations that she had hand written on a fancy type paper. After doing this 20 or so times, she felt that she may just want to have them printed. She brought in one of the ones she had sent out for us to copy the text. It said
I kid you not)
"You are quarterly invited..."
It was all we could do not to laugh. So my wife(who does layout) offered up some "alternative" wordings that were in some of the graduation books. When shown the words "Commencement exercises" the customer was confused and said, "We don't exercise at graduation"
I guess these people are the future that will be taking care of me when I am old.
We still have her sample hanging up in the back for a good laugh. Every once in a while a new technician will come through and stop, read, and shake their head. Then we have to explain the story all over again.
Okay, I have one.
We had a customer(high school senior) come in with graduation invitations that she had hand written on a fancy type paper. After doing this 20 or so times, she felt that she may just want to have them printed. She brought in one of the ones she had sent out for us to copy the text. It said
I kid you not)"You are quarterly invited..."
It was all we could do not to laugh. So my wife(who does layout) offered up some "alternative" wordings that were in some of the graduation books. When shown the words "Commencement exercises" the customer was confused and said, "We don't exercise at graduation"
I guess these people are the future that will be taking care of me when I am old.
We still have her sample hanging up in the back for a good laugh. Every once in a while a new technician will come through and stop, read, and shake their head. Then we have to explain the story all over again.
Luc St-Pierre
Well-known member
Call 911 !!!!!
Call 911 !!!!!
In the old days of analogic plates, a customer passes by the office. New businessman expecting his first print order probably. Anyway, he came in and asked nervously what could possibly take so long and I just tried to comfort him and said: Sir, they just burned your plates. He lost his colors right there probably thinking we wasted them in a fire ! ... I really had to explain.
Call 911 !!!!!
In the old days of analogic plates, a customer passes by the office. New businessman expecting his first print order probably. Anyway, he came in and asked nervously what could possibly take so long and I just tried to comfort him and said: Sir, they just burned your plates. He lost his colors right there probably thinking we wasted them in a fire ! ... I really had to explain.
Anyone have a telephone number for the Secret Service?
Anyone have a telephone number for the Secret Service?
I had another "interesting" customer this afternoon, passed through to me by a traumatised help desk member of staff to "deal with". The customer was literally shrieking down the phone that her print job was simply disgusting, terrible etc. and that we were very, very, bad people. This was an ultra short run flyer printed on a (Xerox) digital press. What was the problem? This person could discern a pattern of yellow dots that "totally ruined" the photographs on the flyer. I looked at the pass sheet on a light table and it looked really nice, the operator had done a good job. He was using a colour profile written specifically for the stock and the press (14 months old) was calibrated and working well. I couldn't see any yellow dots until I put a loupe onto the sheet, then I could see the yellow fingerprint dot pattern. I explained that this pattern is put on every sheet that's printed on a Xerox press (and most other manufacturers) and is an anti-counterfeiting measure. More shrieking (even louder). Really and truly, you simply cannot see it with the naked eye and you could only see it in these pictures under a loupe because they were pale black & white. The only thing that I could suggest was for us to print them litho, but apparently this was no good to her because I could not guarantee to make plates, print and laminate them and get them to the other side of the country within 12 hours. More shrieking (really very loud now). The customer was appalled and disgusted that we don't warn everyone on our web site with a large notice that there are (invisible) yellow dots printed on every digital sheet we print. Much, much more shrieking until I could finally take it no more and asked her politely to please stop yelling at me.
Anyone have a telephone number for the Secret Service? They put the darn yellow dots on in the first place. Maybe I could get her to phone them up and shriek at them instead.
I just noticed the note hand written on the job sheet by the help desk lady who passed it to me: "Pyscho Woman, BEWARE". I wish I'd read that first.
Thanks for listening, I feel better now!
Anyone have a telephone number for the Secret Service?
I had another "interesting" customer this afternoon, passed through to me by a traumatised help desk member of staff to "deal with". The customer was literally shrieking down the phone that her print job was simply disgusting, terrible etc. and that we were very, very, bad people. This was an ultra short run flyer printed on a (Xerox) digital press. What was the problem? This person could discern a pattern of yellow dots that "totally ruined" the photographs on the flyer. I looked at the pass sheet on a light table and it looked really nice, the operator had done a good job. He was using a colour profile written specifically for the stock and the press (14 months old) was calibrated and working well. I couldn't see any yellow dots until I put a loupe onto the sheet, then I could see the yellow fingerprint dot pattern. I explained that this pattern is put on every sheet that's printed on a Xerox press (and most other manufacturers) and is an anti-counterfeiting measure. More shrieking (even louder). Really and truly, you simply cannot see it with the naked eye and you could only see it in these pictures under a loupe because they were pale black & white. The only thing that I could suggest was for us to print them litho, but apparently this was no good to her because I could not guarantee to make plates, print and laminate them and get them to the other side of the country within 12 hours. More shrieking (really very loud now). The customer was appalled and disgusted that we don't warn everyone on our web site with a large notice that there are (invisible) yellow dots printed on every digital sheet we print. Much, much more shrieking until I could finally take it no more and asked her politely to please stop yelling at me.
Anyone have a telephone number for the Secret Service? They put the darn yellow dots on in the first place. Maybe I could get her to phone them up and shriek at them instead.
I just noticed the note hand written on the job sheet by the help desk lady who passed it to me: "Pyscho Woman, BEWARE". I wish I'd read that first.
Thanks for listening, I feel better now!
Drawkward
Active member
beware of these people. She probably found out after she got the job that she had a typo or wrong information that was her fault. So she gets you to agree to reprint them and interjects, "While you are reprinting them, could you please change ****"
I have seen this many times. Beware!
I have seen this many times. Beware!
dan3theman
New member
When we got our first Epsons , one of our Editors noticed a "smell" to them.
These were the first digital proofs she had ever touched,( sensitive nose I guess ). She went on to ask "will the press run smell like this" ... Classic !!
These were the first digital proofs she had ever touched,( sensitive nose I guess ). She went on to ask "will the press run smell like this" ... Classic !!
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