Questions!

[GuruMorgor]

Oh the lovely furrowed brow questions!

Whats RGB?
Whats dpi?
Why is it so mumbly jumbly? (pixelated)
It prints on my home printer, why can't you guys print it?
I've never heard of Adobe, are they made by Microsoft?
Can't you just pull it off the website?

I know these are the folks that are paying my bills in a roundabout way, but dangit! freelance designers are the pits! Does anybody else play this game?

And even worse is that bigger clients who can afford to use a decent Design firm find it more economical to use Debbie The Receptionist as their designer.

aarrgh! sorry for the rant

 

[M@CK]

Nice to get some LOL's before the week end.
I really enjoy this one "It prints on my home printer, why can't you guys print it?"
I also get the variant "It looks better on my printer."
Or
"it looks better on my screen"

 

[Keith]

I've gotten used to the "What's bleed?" or "What's safety area?" but the one that still sends me flying into a fit of rage:

They give you a file that is 3.5"x8.5".
"I want 300 please!"
So, you place it 6up and run 50 sheets and trim it.
"Oh! I wanted 300 because you can put 3 on a page!"
They actually wanted 900.

I guess that's not really a question but I hate it when they assume they know your manufacturing process. that;s my little rant. Sorry.

 

[OkiTech]

yeah, that 4x6 looks so nice on my screen, can you make it in to 24x36?

Customer pushing 2 pcs of 8.5x11 over the counter printed on chitty inkjet with clogged heads saying: "yeah I have my own design, here you go"

I never get tired of learning over and over again that MS Word is a tool to design full color business cards, flyers, etc.

 

[easiprint]

I once ended up asking a customer to take his work elsewhere because he was so sure he knew my job better than I did. Serious conversation with him:

Customer: Why do you want a pdf? No other printers use pdfs, are you that old fashioned? Microsoft Publisher files are what most printers use these days you know.
Me: I'm sure there are printers who like MS Publisher, but pdf's are the safest and most usual way of providing files.
Customer: Rubbish, let me see the owner of this business.
Me: I am the owner
Customer: How can you be, you know nothing. Now, here's my business card file as a .bmp file. I want 500 of them
Me: Unfortunately sir, the resolution on the file is quite low and there is no bleed supplied, the text goes within 1mm of the edge and with no bleed it is not possible to print from this artwork.
Customer: My brother owns his own printing company so I know what I'm talking about.
Me: Well would it not be more convenient for you to use your brothers printing company for these business cards?
Customer: I did, but I was not happy with the quality of what he supplied.
Me: O, well our equipment cannot handle your files, so may I suggest XYZ printers who may be able to help, Goodbye.

 

[OkiTech]

We had a customer few weeks ago who approved the order, "looks excellent" was his exact response on thursday eve, on saturday night (the job was printed by then) he replied the there is a typo. Later on conversation came to the point that he said that he did in fact approved the design not a spelling and it was our responsibility to double even triple check and proof-read all the text

 

[PrePressKD]

A while back, an ex-coworker came up with a list of Photoshop filters/plug-ins that might help satisfy some of those quirky customer requests....

 

[Tpyo]

I'm wary of an unknown face coming through the door calling themselves a Graphic Designer. In retaliation, I call myself the 'd' word.

Remember, the average Joe Web Master is merely a scullery maid of print.

 

[Tammy M]

Real Conversation:
Me: the image you provided is so small and of such low resolution that if we enlarge it to the size you want, it will be unrecognizable.
Customer: Don't you know what you're doing? I asked my 12-year-old neighbor boy, and he said it would be fine.

Another Real Conversation:
Customer: I don't like the color of my cover photo. What's wrong with it?
Me: You provided it as RGB and it was converted to CMYK for printing.
Customer: I sent it as RGB so it would be more vibrant! Can't you print it RGB?

Me: (to myself) It's gotta be 5 o'clock somewhere....

 

[arossetti]

This was yesterday:

Customer: I placed an order with you back in July and I need to re-print it with new artwork
Me: Ok no problem, will you be supplying the artwork or will we be creating it?
Customer: I'm about to fax it over.
Me: Are you faxing over the changes you want us to complete from the old art?
Customer: No, the artwork is complete I will be faxing it in.
Me: ... by fax do you mean e-mail?

 

[Tpyo]

...And it's not only customers. Upstream salespeople, the boss, the order entry person; they all seem to pull this one.

Part of my routine: I always ask, "How many finished pieces do you want to end up with?"

 

[arossetti]

...And it's not only customers. Upstream salespeople, the boss, the order entry person; they all seem to pull this one.

Part of my routine: I always ask, "How many finished pieces do you want to end up with?"

Agreed, I throw the word yield around a lot.

 

[Keith]

This was yesterday:

Customer: I placed an order with you back in July and I need to re-print it with new artwork
Me: Ok no problem, will you be supplying the artwork or will we be creating it?
Customer: I'm about to fax it over.
Me: Are you faxing over the changes you want us to complete from the old art?
Customer: No, the artwork is complete I will be faxing it in.
Me: ... by fax do you mean e-mail?

This is why I got rid of my fax machine years ago.

 

[GuruMorgor]

Thanks for all the fun replies! I can't gripe to my friends about work because they don't understand what RGB's and CMYK's and vector files are either. It's work though, and its cool that we can make fun of it. Better than diggin' ditches!

 

[cseas]

i love it when they want us to match the proof they printed on their crappy printer. doh!
or they give us a file and want us to match what another printer produced...and it's obviously not the same file they are giving us.

oh the humanity...

 

[dabob]

I got one to add . . .

We got a customer/designer in from a very prominent liberal college and we spent about 4-5 hours playing with press setting to get it to the color she wanted all the while telling her that we should really make the adjustments in photoshop and InDesign rather than chase it on the press . . .. lo and behold 6 months later here she comes back in with the same cover and we asked her if she corrected the color issues . .. her response "well you got it right the last time so I didn't change it" . . .. oh well press time charges make money too . . .

 

[PrePressKD]

When people ask me what I do for a living, I tell them, "I have a job that people don't know is a job until I tell them it's a job."

Y'all might want to check out clientsfromhell.net. It's full of more of the same stuff as we have on this thread.

Enjoy!

 

[cseas]

When people ask me what I do for a living, I tell them, "I have a job that people don't know is a job until I tell them it's a job."

Y'all might want to check out clientsfromhell.net. It's full of more of the same stuff as we have on this thread.

Enjoy!

that's a great site.

i also love it when someone from mgmt or a salesperson brings a client through:

"..and this is where we RIP the files apart and process the lasering on to the plates"

lol!!

 

[BillJ]

What do you mean you cant do a PMS match from my Publisher file?
What's wrong with your rip that it can't print this font I found on the internet? It looks fine @600 dpi off my printer?

 

[dabob]

Lately the big question in my life is . . .

Where am I going and why am I in this hand basket?!