Business Jargon

Everyday language in America has become so euphemistic and colloquial it is often impossible to figure out what people are talking about. See what I'm sayin?

It really opens your eyes when you hear our language through a foreigner's ears. I used to have a lady from Brazil work for me, and, she spoke very fluent english. Not even an accent. However, many times after a meeting or conversation she would come to me to "translate" a phrase. For instance, "John, I think you've hit the nail on the head...." Later she would come to me and ask "Hit the nail on the head? What does that mean?" and I would have to explain to her that means that "he has accurately diagnosed the problem". Ya know what I mean?
 
this one always bugs me: " let's meet about this offline."

This is said during a meeting (face to face) meaning to met with another person, face to face again, after the current meeting.
 
"offline" as in there will be no documentation or proof so that I can blame somebody else "when 'it' hits the fan"

I almost responded without the quotes around when 'it' hits the fan ;)
 
I used to work for a fellow who constantly said "you can believe me when I say.........". About that time the phrase "with all due respect" got a lot of use.
 
Really, I'm not a violent person, but THIS one just makes my blood boil and makes me want to "reach out" and smash somebody in the face.!

It's normally used in a response to a complaint about a very stressful or frustrating situation, and, you can bet that what follows the phrase is something that you are NOT in the mood to hear.

"In A Perfect World......."

Graphic-Artist to supervisor: "This client NEVER brings us print-ready art! I Always have to spend hours correcting their art before we can go to press. It's not right, and, I'm getting fed up with it!!!!!!

Supervisor: "Look, John, in a perfect world, all clients will give us print-ready art, but, this isn't a perfect world"

NO-KIDDING ! Me, resisiting the urge to hit somebody: "NO!, in a perfect world, I wouldn't be here. I'd be fishing off my private 50-foot yacht in the Caribbean drinking a Carona with Lime!

Best

-MailGuru
 
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Ok its not "business jargon" but, in sports "If the season ended today" ... OMG ITS NOT GOING TO END TODAY so why have that conversation every week the last 1/2 of the season. I will change the station every time that this topic comes up.
 
the other one i hate is "facilitate." why don't you just say "help" or "assist" or something. facilitator always sounds like someone who does something in a dark theater...
 
Graphic-Artist to supervisor: "This client NEVER brings us print-ready art! I Always have to spend hours correcting their art before we can go to press. It's not right, and, I'm getting fed up with it!!!!!!

Best

-MailGuru

Sorry couldn't resist, but unless graphic artist is doing job for free or "not on the clock" then he will sit there and correct 50 million wrong files and be happy he has a goddamn job. I am tired of hearing this all the time. This is what I want to tell graphic designer/pre-press: "STFU and do it! You are getting paid. EOD"

Dang it, my BP is already up!
 
Sorry couldn't resist, but unless graphic artist is doing job for free or "not on the clock" then he will sit there and correct 50 million wrong files and be happy he has a goddamn job. I am tired of hearing this all the time. This is what I want to tell graphic designer/pre-press: "STFU and do it! You are getting paid. EOD"

Dang it, my BP is already up!

Back up the Truck and Rewind the tape, there, JustPrint!. With all due respect, the post had nothing to do graphic art/prepress complaints. It was being used to facilitate an example of when not to use the phrase mentioned (perfect world).

At the end of the day, I’m sure each and every pre-press person that works for you gives 110% to Exceed the Customer’s Expectations. They realize that the upside is that they have a job, but, the downside is, that sometimes that job gets frustrating.

That being said, constantly re-inventing the wheel by re-working the same client’s art over and over again has a tendency get on your nerves over time. Perhaps you should reach out to them, and, Think outside of the box to construct a Scope of Work document that more-clearly defines the overall function of their department, and, their role in it.. Ya know what I mean?

By working together and touching base more often, you may find that a blue-sky production increase may be gained from using a “get the low-hanging fruit” (easy jobs) done first, and, then, circle-back and get the more difficult ones completed rather than a “first-in-first-out” process. See what I’m saying?

To be honest with you, I feel the same way as you do. Hard jobs, easy jobs, hey, it is what it is, and I’m paying you to do it. Still, every once in a while, you have to take one aside and have an offline conversation that may have to be revisited a time or two.

Once everyone understands the objective you’ll find that the operation is Dead Nuts, Spot-On, accurate and efficient.

In the mean time,

Have A Good One!

-Best

MailGuru

PS: Did I get them all in? I think I used them all. Correct me if I’m wrong (LOL)
 
@MailGuru,

Well put but I would have preferred the "elevator speech" because I don't have the "bandwidth" to deal with the "verbal diarrhea".

Best, gordo
 
@MailGuru,

Well put but I would have preferred the "elevator speech" because I don't have the "bandwidth" to deal with the "verbal diarrhea".

Best, gordo

Whatever............

(Sorry, no disrespect, Gordo, I just realized I missed that one):)LOL

-MailGuru
 
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Well, it's about time to put away the stone and stick this form in the coffin... (anybody? Get out the gauge pin?)

It's one thing to shoot a portrait, quite another to shoot a model, but I always preferred to shoot a plate. Gang up all the artwork and shoot it. Unless you have a DI press - then you just RIP it, which is also a good way to prevent hickeys (but you just can't keep it standing). But you can do a setup with only a quire. You'll need a perfector, though, to go four back two in one run. Makes nice signatures as well as tabloids. Then once you run it, it's easy to have too much finger on thin stock. And we all know the long and short of it is that too much tack will offset on heavy coverage. If you have too much IPA, you may work and tumble. Or at least knock your head on a hard proof. Anyways, I just wanted to be colorful and I've kinda run the gamut.
 

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