Karl, those on here who offered to visit you did so to help
and get you on the right track, in the spirit of the forum.
Had you had taken up one of those offers of a day or two consultancy, you would likely be in a different place today both financially and in terms of your personal wellbeing. You've said that Versant has "virtually ruined your life" - that's strong going! Whilst we've all had machines we curse and swear at, or have spent too much time/money servicing, they're never game changers.
I'm one of those who offered print & fulfilment services to you. Again, to help
you, in the spirit of the forum. Producing and fulfilling 50 posters a week would take us less than half an hour and if that got you your life back, then great. It's good to offer.
Your summary of the help you've been afforded on the forum is "madness". I guess there's little more we can do or offer.
FWIW, what's "madness" to me (I thought you were joking when you first mentioned it
so had a look on Google Earth...) , is that you actually removed windows and courses of bricks to the front of your house to install a production printer at home!
Presumably when you do eventually see the light and offload the machine, you have to do the same again (or cut it up - this may be cheaper).